"I need to tell you something" she said, "Don't freak out, your Dad and I have such a peace about it, everything is going to be alright."
Hesitating, she then proceeded to tell me "Your dad has an advanced stage of cancer in is prostate but everything is going to be okay and we feel like God is with us and we just feel at peace and your Uncle Alan had this same exact surgery 12 years okay, so it's all going to be just fine."
Woah, woah, woah, stop. rewind. what? The only word that I remembered from the past five minutes was cancer. C-A-N-C-E-R. Six letters, two syllables, a word most people associate with death.
"Ok" that's the only word my mouth seemed able to form.
"It's really going to be okay, your Dad is so positive, he is using this as a testimony to Ralph-who is acting like a mother hen right now he's so worried. But it's just a little surgery he'll be fine."
"Ok...Ok" Progress. I said two words this time. My mind was going a million miles a minute. I was feeling so many emotions at once, grief, despair, anger, all combined into one. Shock.
My mom was still talking, "We feel at peace" she was saying. "We caught it early, everything is going to be okay."
Wow. How crazy it is that in a split second your world can be turned upside down.
"Ok" I say for what seems like the thousandth time. "Cancer" I say. "I just hate that word"
I look at out the water, people riding bikes, walking hand in hand, the world still whizzing by even though mine just came to a halt. "It's all going to be okay." I say still trying to convince my self even the slightest bit.
Thankfully, scriptures start to flood my head.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart"
"Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"
"God works everything together for good for those who love Him"
"He gives power to the weak & strength to the powerless...Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
"Do NOT fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, My rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold"
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you... Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."
My Dad has stage T3 prostate cancer, which is considered advanced, but so far it hasn't spread to any other organs. I sit here not even hours later, still shaken up but, not full of grief or anger, but filled with a peaceful and Faithful heart. God is Good. I wholeheartedly believe that everything happens for a reason, whether that to be a witness to others, or just so that we can spend more precious time as a family.
I really believe it's all going to be okay. It still is scary, it still is shocking, and I am still so grieved that my Dad has to go through this. These next few months are going to be really hard. But my Dad will come out of this alive and well. He is going to fight the good fight, and kick cancer's ass. He is so strong, and has family and friends who have been showing their unconditional love and support. I am just so thankful God gave me the opportunity to move back to Colorado. Truly, His divine intervention. If God can raise people from the grave itself, he can get my Dad through cancer.
It would be so wonderful & mean the world to me and my family if you would take a few minutes out of your day to just pray for my Dad, for the surgery, for the cancer, and for these next few months. And if you do not pray, positive vibes, thoughts, anything! We would be just so grateful.
Thank you for all of your love and support!
In Christ,
Eliana
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