As I was driving back home from work this evening, listening to Citizens, the song Oh God came on and I was immediately overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit.

The lyrics had so much truth to them, "In my struggling, Oh God You're Near. Oh God, You'll Never leave my side, Your Love Stands Firm Through All my Life." Literally Everything I needed to hear.

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind with trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my Dad has been diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer.

It has been a test of faith for everyone in the family.  When you go through trials in life there's a moment for everyone where, even if it's a split second, you start to question. Why my Dad? Why is this fair? Why are You allowing this happen?

One thing I have learned, is that we aren't supposed to know all of these answers, Our purpose and God's plan is so much bigger than we can comprehend, and that is where trusting him comes in. We must trust that HE works everything together for GOOD for those who love him and faith that he will bring us through whatever our struggle is.

The most important thing though, that has helped me with all the obstacles life has thrown at me is that when I am grieving, He is right there grieving with me. He is right there holding my hand, when I break down and cry, he is crying with me and giving me his shoulder. The horrible things in life that hurt us, hurt him as well. And that is why when I am hit with something so astronomical as this, I grow stronger in my Faith instead of pushing away.
I remember God is near to me, when I feel alone, he is there, he will never leave my side no matter what I am going through or what I have done. His Love is Eternal.

"Height nor Depth, nor Anything else can Pull us apart"

Satisfied in You, Sing Team

I have lost my appetite 
And a flood is welling up behind my eyes 
So I eat the tears I cry 
And if that were not enough 
They know just the words to cut and tear and prod 
When they ask me “Whereʼs your God?” 

Why are you downcast, oh my soul? 
Why so disturbed within me? 
I can remember when you showed your face to me 

As a deer pants for water, so my soul thirsts for you 
And when I survey Your splendor, You so faithfully renew 
Like a bed of rest for my fainting flesh 

When Iʼm looking at the ground 
Itʼs an inbred feedback loop that drags me down 
So itʼs time to lift my brow 
And remember better days 
When I loved to worship you and learn your ways 
Singing sweetest songs of praise 

Let my sighs give way to songs that sing about your faithfulness 
Let my pain reveal your glory as my only real rest 
Let my losses show me all I truly have is you 

So when Iʼm drowning out at sea 
And all your breakers and your waves crash down on me 
Iʼll recall your safety scheme 
Youʼre the one who made the waves 
And your Son went out to suffer in my place 
And to show me that Iʼm safe 

Why am I down? 
Why so disturbed? 
I am satisfied in you

 My hometown is up in flames! 360+ homes lost so far. Please Pray for Colorado. #COPROUD 

As my mom and I sit in my car looking out over Lake Washington, windows rolled down, the breeze feels cool against my skin. bliss, I think. pure bliss.

"I need to tell you something" she said, "Don't freak out, your Dad and I have such a peace about it, everything is going to be alright."

Hesitating, she then proceeded to tell me "Your dad has an advanced stage of cancer in is prostate but everything is going to be okay and we feel like God is with us and we just feel at peace and your  Uncle Alan had this same exact surgery 12 years okay, so it's all going to be just fine."

Woah, woah, woah, stop. rewind. what? The only word that I remembered from the past five minutes was cancer. C-A-N-C-E-R. Six letters, two syllables, a word most people associate with death.

"Ok" that's the only word my mouth seemed able to form.

"It's really going to be okay, your Dad is so positive, he is using this as a testimony to Ralph-who is acting like a mother hen right now he's so worried. But it's just a little surgery he'll be fine."

"Ok...Ok" Progress. I said two words this time. My mind was going a million miles a minute. I was feeling so many emotions at once, grief, despair, anger, all combined into one. Shock.

My mom was still talking, "We feel at peace" she was saying. "We caught it early, everything is going to be okay."

Wow. How crazy it is that in a split second your world can be turned upside down.

"Ok" I say for what seems like the thousandth time. "Cancer" I say. "I just hate that word"

I look at out the water, people riding bikes, walking hand in hand, the world still whizzing by even though mine just came to a halt. "It's all going to be okay." I say still trying to convince my self even the slightest bit.

Thankfully, scriptures start to flood my head.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart"

"Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"

"God works everything together for good for those who love Him"

"He gives power to the weak & strength to the powerless...Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

"Do NOT fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, My rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold"

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you... Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

My Dad has stage T3 prostate cancer, which is considered advanced, but so far it hasn't spread to any other organs. I sit here not even hours later, still shaken up but, not full of grief or anger, but filled with a peaceful and Faithful heart. God is Good. I wholeheartedly believe that everything happens for a reason, whether that to be a witness to others, or just so that we can spend more precious time as a family.

I really believe it's all going to be okay. It  still is scary, it still is shocking, and I am still so grieved that my Dad has to go through this. These next few months are going to be really hard. But my Dad will come out of this alive and well. He is going to fight the good fight, and kick cancer's ass. He is so strong, and has family and friends who have been showing their unconditional love and support. I am just so thankful God gave me the opportunity to move back to Colorado. Truly, His divine intervention. If God can raise people from the grave itself, he can get my Dad through cancer.

It would be so wonderful & mean the world to me and my family if you would take a few minutes out of your day to just pray for my Dad, for the surgery, for the cancer, and for these next few months. And if you do not pray, positive vibes, thoughts, anything! We would be just so grateful.

Thank you for all of your love and support!

In Christ,

Eliana

Just a little pick me up for the week ;) These are some of my favorite cookies to make but very dangerous to leave sitting on the counter, you can easily down 2-3 without thinking!

Chewy Coconut Oatmeal Cookies:

1 cup butter

1 1/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup sugar

2 eggs

2 cap fulls vanilla extract

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. baking powder.

2 1/4 cups flour

1 cup quick cooking oats

1 1/2 cup shredded sweetened coconut

3/4 bag dark chocolate or semi-sweet chips (optional)

A whole lot of Love<3

Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Soften butter and mix with sugar until creamy. Add eggs one at a time. Add rest of the ingredients and stir until just fully mixed, (do not over stir!! that will make for a less delicious cookie!!)

Roll into balls and place on ungreased cookie sheet. bake for exactly 9 minutes. Using a metal spatula, almost immediately remove cookies from baking sheet and onto a cooling rack or counter top.

Devour.

Or you can crumble the warm gooey cookies over some vanilla ice cream!

omnomnom:)

Together. We Can Change The World.

God has been working in some incredible ways these past few days.  When I was back in CO, my parents and I were trying to figure out a way to get me to San Francisco.  We debated road trips, me flying alone, etc. All of them however required me to take time off, which would result in me getting let go.

The thought crossed our minds that I could move back to Colorado, and so on a whim I applied for a few nanny jobs in the area. One family responded, and I had a phone interview with them. I explained the situation, and also that I was leaving mid-august for Norway. Thinking nothing of it and still unsure how we were going to pull this all off, I flew back home to Seattle.  I then received a call from her offering me the position and how she had a "feeling" that I was the right choice even though we had never met. If that's not a sign from God, I don't know what is.

As much as I love, love, love Seattle. I have made the decision to start preparing for my missions trip back in Colorado, so that I can spend as much time with my family before I leave for 6+ months. My mom is going to be flying out on the 10th of June and we will road trip back home together. One thing I have learned is that no matter what, you will never regret time spent with your family.  So although Seattle may be home, it's not where I am supposed to be now, but who knows! God could always bring me back (I hope he does!)

We also found out that it is cheaper for me to just fly to San Francisco by myself and go to my appointment and then fly back, but once again we still need to receive my passport before we set up anything.

Please Pray for Safety, Guidance, That my passport would arrive asap, That I could get an Appointment at the Consulate, Funding for my trip, and that I could be a blessing to the family I am going to be nannying for!

I am so grateful for every ones support!

"Ask, and it will be given to you; Seek, and you will find; Knock, and the door will be opened"